Category Archives: Sex & Relationships

The Simple Truth of Sexless Relationships

It just doesn’t add up. On one hand we hear that people who live together have more sex than singles, yet we also know that the statistics on sexless marriages is on the rise. Now it could just be that we know much more about what goes on in marriages. Whatever the reason, the big surprise is that a majority of marriages end up being little more than friendships that had some sex, at some time.

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Shockingly over 60% of all marriages end in divorce and for the 40% that stay together, half of them are just friends. That means they have a commitment to each other and share some essential secrets, but there is simply no passion. This is where duty sex takes place. Sex is so infrequent that when it does happen, it’s simply a process of taking the pulse. These couples are having sex 12 times per year or less…much less.

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So how do these couples manage. For some sex is not as important as staying together to raise children, pay bills and have outings together. For others where one partner wants the sex but the other one is not interested, well the simple truth is that partner is forced to outsource the sex. They find sex outside the primary relationship. That actually explains another statistic, the rate of divorce due to infidelity. About 75% of marriages in the US end in divorce because of infidelity. So it seems cheating may be a major outlet for those people in sexless relationships where one partner still wants some passion.

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The research tells us that people of all ages, all races and all sexual orientations, want good sex and they have similar criteria for what qualifies as earth shattering sex. So if most of us want it, and many of us don’t get it, why do we remain in the sexless relationship? First of all, like we said before a number of sexless partners are getting their satisfaction outside the relationship. Men and women cheat on their partners at about the same rate, women just tend talk less about their sexual adventures, generally.

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Also an interesting little fact about couples and sex was revealed by Evolutionary Psychologist Christopher Ryan. He says that human beings tend to choose two types of partners for long term relationships. A social partner, for raising the kids and paying the bills; and a sexual partner for passion and fun between the sheets. So it makes more sense when we think of Ryan’s explanation, that sexless couples may stay together for practical reasons, but not for passionate reasons. They become what we call in relationship therapy, ‘ companionate lovers’ that is, friends who raise families together but are not sexually aroused by each other.

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And in case you are wondering if this is love, it certainly is, and there are at least three other love relationships that don’t include sex.

Couples who no longer sizzle in the sack are likely to be in one of those. So what can you do about a relationship that’s gone flat? Well, first things first…try to remember if there was a major incident or change in the family structure before the sex died. Next, figure out how long it’s been since you really wanted sex with your partner. Experts say if it’s 5 years or more, you could actually be facing the end of the sex life together. Finally, get expert help in working through the issues that could put the ying back in your yang. |P|

Written by Dr. Karen Carpenter, Relationship & Sex Therapist (Published in PANACHE Magazine April 2016) | Find her on Twitter @loveandsexja  

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Meet the Models: PANACHE Body Collection Calendar 2017

PANACHE CALENDAR 2017: The Body Collection

By PANACHE Communications INC in PANACHE Calendar 2017

28 pages, published 1/13/2017

The hottest calendar in Jamaica, the PANACHE Calendar 2017: “The Body Collection” builds on last year’s inaugural release. This year we focus health and fitness and spotlighting 11 beautifully sculpted Jamaican men!

The hottest calendar in Jamaica, the PANACHE Body Collection builds on last year’s inaugural release. This year we focus health and fitness and in this feature happily introduce you to our calendar models… 11 beautifully sculpted Jamaican men!

DAMION MOODIE, Businessman

 

Why do you think your boyfriend material?  “I believe I’m boyfriend material because I’m educated, good looking and know how to treat a lady.”
What traits do you look for in a woman? A girl who is a bit on the short side, who Is intelligent with a great sense of humor, and not too sensitive.
What is the one thing you can’t live without? “I can’t live without the Gym!”
Who do you think should make the first move? “I always make the first move once I see a girl I like, I always go for.”


SHAMIR JOHNSON, Supervisor

Why are you boyfriend Material? “I believe I’m boyfriend material because of my moral standards. I’m selfless, I like to have fun and I’m very romantic.”
What traits do you love in a woman? “A woman who is healthy and loves the gym, also has moral standards, a bit shorter than I am as I am 5ft 8inches, and must be a friend.”
What was the best compliment you ever got? “Best smile ever.”
What is the one thing you could not live without? “I could not live without keeping fit.”


DWIGHT JAMES, Gym Instructor

What traits do you love in a woman? “I love when a woman is loving, quiet and clean”
What is the one thing you could no live without? “Women, food, water, gym and money.”
Who do you think should make the first move? “Ladies should always make the first move.”
At what point do you know a relationship is right? “Once you know that she is willing to forgive.”

 

ORAN CARBY, Attendant

Describe yourself in your own words? “Athletic, love to watch movies (action and comedy). I like to bake and cook, lift weights and also a family person.”
What special date would you do for your lady on Valentine’s Day? “Cook something special for her, and then a lap dance later.”
Name three things you plan to do before you die? “I plan to travel Jamaica, go sky diving and visit Egypt.”
What was the best compliment you ever got? “Is all that yours?”
What are the main things you think makes a relationship work? “Trust and Love.”
 

BRUCE CHIN, Personal Trainer

Describe yourself in your own words? “Driven young individual- owner of several business, one being a gym sponsored by Spryvelocity nutrition; a regional competitor in the Jamaica Amateur Body Building and Fitness Association.”
What traits do you love in a woman? “I like a woman who can be a conversationalist, who is independent and has a lot of pride and one who is not shallow.”
What do you do in your spare time? “Workout, travel, parties, “youtuber” (check out ‘awesomewhey’), video editing, playing the guitar and singing.”
What was the best compliment you ever got? “You look like Greek god sculpture.”
 

PHILLIP GROVES, Personal Trainer / Massage therapist

Describe yourself in your own words? “I’m a hardworking person who considers himself a go-getter. I like to cook, sing and have fun whenever I can.”
Tell us something some persons don’t know about you? “I was in the military for thirteen years.”
Name three things you plan to do before you die? “Sky diving, visiting the Great Wall of China and also Mount Everest.”
What was the best compliment you ever got? “Are all Jamaican men this fine?”
What are the main things you think make a relationship work? “Communication, honesty and commitment.”
 

LENROY MORRISON, Air Traffic Controller

Why are you boyfriend material? “I am boyfriend material because I have brains, brawn, and good looks.”
What traits do you love in a woman? “Healthy, caring and image conscious.”
Who do you think should make the first move? “The person who wants something to happen.”
Name two things you would like to do before you die?  “1. Build my dream house and 2. travel to places on my bucket list.”
At what point do you know a relationship is right? “When you both are able to tolerate the little things that use to annoy you.”

CHRISTOPHER CHUNG, Trainer/Mortician

Describe yourself in your own words? “I’m Self-motivated, ambitious, and down to earth. I also love to work smart.”
What special date would you do for your lady on Valentine’s Day? “First surprise her with jewelry and chocolate, then take her on a date. Probably go to the movies then go out to dinner.”
Who do you think should make the first move? “I believe ladies should always make the first move.”
Name three things you plan to do before you die? “Open five gyms, Tour the world, and go skiing.”
What is the one superpower do you wish you had? “The power to teleport.”

LEO FOSTER, Banker & Personal Trainer

Describe yourself in your own words? “I am a single father of one with a passion for helping people. Loving God and all His creations.”
What traits do you look for in a woman? “Beauty and brains with an incredible sense of humor.”
What do you do in your spare time? “Travelling, playing football, creating meals plans, workout programs and drinking rum.”
What is the best compliment you ever gotten? “You are the kindness person I have ever met.”
What super power do you wish you had? “I wish I could read minds.”

ANDRE BROWN, Fitness Instructor

What is one thing you wish woman knew about men? “That some men can be emotional beings.”
Describe yourself in your own words? “I’m pretty outspoken. I love motivating people around me. I consider myself strong, loving, caring and emotional.”
What do you do in your spare time? “Love spending time with my son, I invest time in my relationships, and also time in the gym.”
At what point do you know a relationship is right? “Again it comes down to trust, especially when someone can be open about who they are with, publicly let the world know this is who I am with.”
 

JONHOI VAUGHN, Banker

What’s the one thing you wish more women knew about men? “I wish more women knew how sensitive men are”.
How would you describe yourself in your own words? “I’m a minimalist, I believe simplicity is best, I’m adventurous, and will always be a student of life.”
What do you like to do for fun? “I like to solve problems for fun, draw, write poems and also try to learn something new each day.”
What was the best compliment you ever got? “You’re a beautiful man”
What are the main things you think make a relationship work? “The ability to accept flaws and the beauty beyond the flaws.”

 

Tantric Sex Tips

TIP #1: Give and receive with kisses

“To take this a step further, people tend to interact sexually based on a set of tacit understandings: Basically, I’ll do you for a while, and then you can do me, and if we’re lucky, we’ll both have a good experience,” Michaels and Johnson say.
“We encourage people to separate giving and receiving in a very methodical way. For example, it’s great to experiment with giving and receiving kisses. Take a couple of minutes and allow your partner to kiss you and explore your mouth with his tongue. Then reverse roles. When you’re kissing, see how fully you can give yourself over to the active role. When you’re receiving, surrender to the experience completely.”

TIP #2: Take 60 minutes and give each other a massage but no sex yet!

“Set aside an hour or so to give and receive full body massages (culminating with genital stimulation but not intercourse). Do this on different days. As with the kissing exercise, the role of the giver is to give as fully as possible, and the role of the receiver is simply to receive. Taking this activity out of the realm of foreplay and keeping the roles clearly defined may help you discover new sources of pleasure, and may also give you new insights into the way you interact with your partner both in and out of bed.”

TIP #3: Break a taboo by just talking about sex

“Many traditional tantric practices involved breaking cultural taboos, and there were many in medieval India,” the couple says. “This was true both in the context of sexual ritual and more generally. In the simplest terms, the violation of these cultural norms had a liberating effect. Of course, we don’t live in a society that has such clearly defined social rules, but we all have our own self-imposed limitations and our habitual ways of being, in lovemaking and more generally in life. If you can shed some of your inhibitions, you’re likely to experience more pleasure. Talking frankly about sex is a big taboo for many, so for many, having frequent and explicit conversations about sex is a great first step.”

TIP #4: Explore a personal sexual taboo together

“If you want to get a little bolder, you can identify a couple of personal taboos (you can also do this as a couple by identifying shared taboos), and then decide on one that you might be interested in breaking,” Michaels and Johnson say. “Don’t pick anything huge at first; it might just mean making love with the lights on or experimenting with light bondage, sensory deprivation or role-play. The purpose is to become more flexible and aware and to be less limited by preconceived ideas about yourself. Sometimes we deprive ourselves of a lot of pleasure by thinking, ‘I’m not the kind of person who would enjoy that.'”

5 Things To Remember When You’re Feeling Like A Failure

By Gabrielle Moss

No matter who you are, what you do for a living, how many graduate degrees you’ve earned, or how often you successfully guess the answer to those trivia thingies that they play before the trailers at the movies, there are going to be times when you feel like a failure. The good news is that feeling like you’re falling behind in your career isn’t a sign that you actually are. And even if you are not where you want to be professionally right now, you’re not doomed to be stuck there forever. The bad news, of course, is that when you’re in that “I’m a loser/failure/general drain on society who should go accept my fate and live in cave where my crappiness won’t rub off on anyone else” headspace, it’s extraordinarily hard to believe that there’s any better future on the horizon.

I should know. For the better part of the decade, I had a very stable, boring office job where I spent most of my day unfavorably comparing myself to other people my age. You’ll be shocked to find that, yes, most people are more successful than someone whose full-time job is Being Jealous And Then Not Doing Anything. This helped me develop a sideline career in Drinking Heavily And Yelling About How Life Is Unfair, which, shockingly, also did little to change my professional fortunes.

Eventually, I turned things around, developing a career that I am actually proud of — but I’ve never forgotten how it felt to think that I was a permanent loser. In this spirit, I present the five thoughts below: consider them counter-programming for the next time you read your alumni newsletter and decide that you are obviously the world’s biggest failure.

You’re Not Helpless
Think It Instead Of: “Only people with well-connected parents/prestigious degrees/extroverted personalities/the money to take unpaid internships can have the jobs they want.”

When you start feeling like a professional failure, it can become extraordinarily easy to fixate on the idea that your career fate is totally out of your control, decided by forces far outside your own power. This kind of thinking is seductive because it provides a narrative that indulges all your darkest thoughts: not only does your life suck, but it was predestined to suck long before you were ever in a position to do anything about it, and so there is literally nothing you can do now.

Luckily for you, it is also totally not true. While I’m not going to lie to you and claim that people from wealthy families or high-profile colleges don’t get a leg up when it comes to careers, that advantage often feels most pronounced in the years right after college, before anyone has real work experience.

But after a few years in the workforce, employers are more interested in what you can do, not where you went to school. As Michael Bernick, the former director of the California department of labor, wrote in Time, the college one attends has much less impact on what kinds of jobs you end up with than the skills you develop there and afterwards — and developing and refining your skills is something you’re in complete control of. Your professional life is a marathon, not a sprint, and just because someone got a few seconds head start on you, doesn’t mean you’re never gonna catch up.

You’re Not The Only Person Who Feels This Way
Think It Instead Of: “I’m the only person I know who is a big enough loser to feel unhappy about my career.”

If all your friends seem to have landed dream jobs, while you are only able to drag yourself into your hated workplace by promising yourself unlimited jalapeno poppers and Netflix ’til your eyeballs dry up in the evening, it’s easy to think you’re all alone your frustration. But guess what? You are not the only person who feels miserable and anxious about work — in fact, plenty of your friends who look to all the world like they are hauling ass up the corporate ladder may feel this way, as well.

Some of them may have a fun psychological problem called “imposter syndrome,” where they don’t feel like they’ve earned their success; some of them, despite being in a glamour job, just don’t enjoy their work. Not all jobs that look great on the outside actually are great.
The important thing to remember is that your fears and worries about being behind or on the wrong path in your career don’t isolate you; if anything, they’ll probably give you something to talk to strangers about at parties (if you are going to parties where no one will admit to worrying about their career and future, I suggest finding some different parties — the ones you’re going to sound very boring).

No One’s Career Is A Straight Ride To The Top
Think It Instead Of:  “I made one bad decision and now my career is ruined.” I’ve always loved the above drawing by comedian Demetri Martin, not just because it’s funny, but because it’s true. Most people change careers multiple times in their lives; and even folks who stick it out with one career don’t just go straight to the top. People are fallible; even the sharpest of us make some bad calls or experience setbacks outside of our control. Eventually, most of us figure out how to bounce back — but getting where we want to be is nowhere near as easy as most of us were raised to believe.

Look into the life story of anyone you really admire, from a star in your field to a relative you’ve always looked up to; if you really dig in to the details of how their career trajectory played out, you’ll find that it has way more ups and downs that you probably thought. No one’s entire future is decided by the fact that they weren’t a mind-blowing professional success right out of the gate.

You’re Not Too Old
Think It Instead Of:  “Sure, I could have changed things last year; but now that I’m 23/28/38/48/whatever, it is too damn late to change anything.” No matter how old you are, it’s easy to think that all the important opportunities have passed you by. As someone who started having these thoughts around age 20, I can assure you that if you’re truly motivated, there’s always a way to convince yourself that you’re a has-been (even if you can’t legally buy a beer yet). And as we get older and constantly have to deal with articles about which arbitrary milestones we’re supposed to have achieved this year, it can become easier and easier to convince yourself that you’ve missed your shot.

I’ll skip going too far into the lists of people who started their professional careers late, though that always soothed me during my days of career failure obsession (OK, just a few: writers Judy Blume, Haruki Murakami, Raymond Chandler and, of course, one Joanna “J.K.” Rowling; film directors Lynn Shelton and Claire Denis; and fashion designer Vera Wang all got their careers going later in life).

Unless you’re looking to become an Olympic athlete, age restrictions probably won’t keep you out of your desired field. This is especially worth keeping in mind if you’re in your early 20s, and feel like everyone’s already made all the decisions that shape their entire lives. In reality, you’re a few years away from seeing many of your friends go through the infamous quarter life crisis and quit jobs, change careers, go back to school, move across the country to become an organic beet farmer — you name it. Your future is far from set in stone; in fact, you’re likely only just learning enough about yourself to figure out what kind of career would really make you happy.

You Don’t Know What Other People’s Lives Are Really Like
Think It Instead Of: “Everyone loves their job except me.” Social media can make us feel like we understand what other people’s lives are really like — even though we know that our own curated Instagram feeds comprised exclusively of picturesque beach vacations and mimosa-soaked brunches only tell the story of, like, 1/200 of our own lives (we somehow keep forgetting to post those pictures of that day the toilet kept overflowing). But the truth is, you don’t know what other people’s lives are like inside, no matter how perfect things look outside. This applies to lots of things beyond career success — from love lives to personal finances.

But it can be easy to think that our career lives are all on the surface — that someone whose Twitter bio lists an insanely impressive job title, or whose name ends up on one of those”30 under 30″ lists, is blissfully happy about their job and has everything figured out. (I think “30 under 30” lists should pretty much be banned under the Geneva Convention, personally, but that’s a thought for another article). But just as you’ve seen perfect couples suddenly explode in ugly break-ups, you should know that a lot of people’s perfect jobs are anything but.

Years ago, I was shocked to find that a certain successful peer of mine quit what seemed like a plum gig in our field to go to grad school for social work. Wasn’t she living the dream? How could she walk away from all of that?It turned out that, as shiny and cool as her achievements looked to me, they just didn’t make her happy. Your dream job is someone else’s nightmare job — crazy to think about, but true.

In my years as a professional Person Who Whines About My Job, I’m not sure if I would have believed all of this stuff I just said; but as someone who’s come out the other side, I can tell you that it’s true. After being depressed about my career, working to change it, and coming to accept that that hard work still doesn’t mean that everything will go well for me forever, I feel confident saying that feeling bitter about your life is the only true career failure out there — and that’s one thing you’re in total control of.

Take 5 and Make Your Relationship Sizzle

Dr. Karen Carpenter, Relationship & Sex Therapist
Dr. Karen Carpenter, Relationship & Sex Therapist

Take five, a famous jazz tune that many of us know just from listening to it on so many occasions. But today I want us to take a journey through the five senses; sight, smell, taste, hearing and touch. This journey is a way to put sparkle back into your relationships.
SIGHT
Starting with the sense of sight, a great way to pick up the pace is to prepare the traditional candle light dinner for just you and your partner, but for a change get all dressed up and stay in. Yes, dine with your partner with both of you looking your very best. You would be surprised what a treat this could be. Delight in your partner’s well groomed appearance and let him have something to complement in you too.
SMELL
Smell, is probably the most vibrant of our senses. Use it to create an exciting evening together. Gather up five of your partner’s favourite scents. Ask him or her to shower and lie face down on a towel. Now create a line of dots going down his spine to the base. Each dot should be a different fragrance. Now gently use your fingertips to blend these smells together, starting from the base and moving in semi-circles onto the back. By the time you get to the base of the neck, not only will the room be filled with the most amazing aroma, but your partner should now be both relaxed and aroused. Enjoy the rewards.
TASTE
Taste can also change our mood from mildly interested to salivating with desire. Prepare a tray of bite-sized portions of foods such as: cheesecake; rum dipped chocolate cherries, mango, cooling ice cream or sorbet. Ask your partner’s permission to blindfold them then feed them delectable treats with your fingers. Ask her to describe each taste. Make sure the portions are small enough to finish in one bite and select melt-in your- mouth foods. You can repeat flavours, mixing them to add novelty. Add some kisses for full effect.
SOUND
Sound is another wonderful way of communicating your love. Take some quality time together. Create a playlist of your partner’s favourite love songs and lie in bed together and listen to the songs. Sing along and cuddle as you reminisce about the first time you heard these songs together.
TOUCH
Touch is tantalizing for many people. So here’s the final touch on the journey through the five senses. Prepare a bubble bath for you and your partner. Get out some wine or your favourite drink, served in wine glasses and spend a leisurely half hour sponge bating each other. Just talking to each other uninterrupted can be a wonderful, sensuous gift. This is a perfect moment to bring all five senses together with music in the background and fragrances and bite sized treats waiting to tempt all the other senses. It really doesn’t cost a lot to be romantic. It simply takes a little imagination and time. |P|

By Dr. Karen Carpenter, Relationship & Sex Therapist

When Should I Have Sex? 7 Dos & Don’ts For Honoring Your Own Desire

By Vanessa Marin, Lifestyle, Bustle |Source: http://www.bustle.com/

We’re always hearing that we could be having better sex, a better orgasm, or a better relationship. But how often do we hear the nitty-gritty of how we can actually better understand our deepest desires and most embarrassing questions? Bustle has enlisted Vanessa Marin, a sex therapist, to help us out with the details. No gender, sexual orientation, or question is off limits, and all questions will remain anonymous. Please send your sex and relationship inquiries to tips@bustle.com. Now, onto today’s topic: when you should say “yes” and “no” to sex in a relationship.

Q: My boyfriend wants sex a lot more than I do. He doesn’t exactly pressure me to have sex, but when it’s been a few days, I can tell that he starts feeling irritable. He’ll drop little hints, like asking me what’s wrong and why my sex drive is so low. His attitude makes me feel pressured, but I’m not sure if I’m being oversensitive. I basically want to know when I should say yes to sex, and when it’s OK to say no.

A: Thanks for your question! It’s always tricky to manage mismatched sex drives in a relationship, and it sure doesn’t help when your partner is making unhelpful remarks about your sex drive. Let’s mix things up this week by talking about the Do’s and Don’ts of saying “yes” or “no” to sex in a relationship.

Do: Honor Your Own Desires

Let’s jump right into my single most important piece of advice — it’s always OK to say no. Always! It’s your body, and you get to choose what does and doesn’t feel right to you. If you don’t want to have sex, you shouldn’t force yourself to do it. Neither should your partner. It’s crucial to talk about this issue because there are definitely situations where these types of dynamics can border on (or even fully cross over into) abuse.

If the thought of turning down sex makes you feel nervous, you may want to try practicing beforehand. Test out a few ways of saying “no,” and find the words that feel most natural to you. Some examples include, “I want to connect with you, but I’m not feeling like having sex right now” or “I’m not feeling in the mood for sex, but is there something else we could do?”

Don’t: Let Your Partner Get Away With Being Passive-Aggressive

Your boyfriend is being immature by pouting and trying to make you feel guilty about not desiring sex as often as he does. You don’t want to reinforce his behaviors by giving into him when he’s pressuring you. Tell him that you want to have a sex life where both of you feel fulfilled, but that his comments aren’t very kind. Let him know the reaction that it stirs up for you.

Do: Ask Your Partner To Be More Direct With Their Initiations

This pattern that you’re describing is one that happens quite frequently in relationships. Usually the partner with the higher sex drive starts to feel rejected, and tries to initiate sex without really initiating. It’s hard to directly ask for sex, because it puts you in the vulnerable position of potentially hearing “no” in response. But by sulking and not expressing his wants, he’s only adding more pressure to an already tense situation.

Tell him, “I’m not always clear when you are or aren’t wanting sex, so then I don’t really know how to respond. Can we both try to be more direct?”

Don’t: Think There’s Anything Wrong With You

You said your boyfriend keeps asking you why your sex drive is “so low,” so I want to remind you that there is no “right” or “wrong” sex drive. We all have different levels of desire, and we should respect what our bodies are telling us. Your sex drive may be lower than his, but that doesn’t make it something you need to “fix”. This is important, so let me repeat it again: there is nothing wrong with you!

Do: Talk About Both Of Your Expectations For Your Sex Life

It sounds like you haven’t had many open conversations about what you each want out of your sexual relationship. Not being clear on your expectations only serves to create more tension. Is he just getting grumpy every once in a while, or could this potentially be a sexual compatibility issue?

Ask him, “what level of sexual frequency feels healthy for you?” Share your own answer with him, and try to have an honest conversation about the level of compatibility between the two of you.

Do: Consider Occasional Maintenance Sex

There are going to be times where you know without a doubt that you’re not interested in sex, and there are going to be times where you feel pretty neutral. Your question cuts to the heart of one of the main issues that comes up in relationships — how much to compromise. Compromise is just a natural part of relationships. We do it because we care about our partner’s needs and we are willing to show them as much consideration as we show ourselves.

I’m being tough on your boyfriend, but I’m hoping that once the two of you talk openly, he’ll take a more mature approach to initiating sex. If your partner’s desires are important to you, there may be times where you feel totally fine having maintenance sex, even if you’re not particularly in the mood. There may even be times where it feels good to take care of your boyfriend in this way, or when you feel not in the mood, but feel open to seeing if foreplay would get you there.

The key is that you’re making an active decision here, not caving in to sexual coercion. Maintenance sex shouldn’t happen at times where your boyfriend is being pouty or pressuring, and you should never feel badly about changing your mind and saying no at any point during sex.

Don’t: Stay In A Relationship Where You’re Not Sexually Compatible

If it feels like you and your boyfriend are arguing about sex more often than enjoying having it, it may be time to move on. Sexual compatibility can — and should — be a deal-breaker in a relationship.

Like I said before, I’m not sure how intensely your boyfriend is pressuring you, but if it ever feels like he’s displaying a lack of respect or bordering on emotional abuse, you absolutely should end the relationship.